Call Of Duty Reality Story

Your boss has been giving you hard time lately, and still hasn't given you that raise! So you're going to do something about it.

You drive to work very early. You break in without being detected because heck, you got Cold Blooded Pro. You run up the stairs without pausing, thanks to Marathon Pro. You hop over desks and chairs superfast while making a beeline for your boss's office.

When you enter, you suddenly remember. You forgot your briefcase. You open the window and jump out to the car park. Screw the stairs, you got Commando Pro. When you land on your feet, the guard is making his rounds. You swing at the air in front of you and suddenly, he's out cold.

You make your back to the office which would have been so much faster if you had Lightweight. Checking to make sure no one is watching, you open your briefcase for five seconds and drop it, whispering urgently "The bomb has planted!" You wait around the corner sound whoring and wishing you had SitRep, to make sure no one opens the briefcase for thirty seconds. With less than five seconds left, you start spinning around on the spot.

An explosion rips through your superior's office and you start whopping with joy. Congratulating yourself, you are overjoyed at having taught your boss a lesson.

Much later, authorities are still puzzled as to how the bombsite was destroyed. But hey, they're noobs.

Politics Simplified

Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.